Last week, while getting a massage, my massage therapist and I were talking about all of the folks here in Boulder that are going through the BIG D…divorce!
Divorce is so sad for me. My business partner, Dan, just went through it. He has two children. A very well known cyclist, here in Boulder, is going through it…anyway…I just find it sad.
As Kristin and I were talking, the conversation gravitated to some of the well known triathletes that have gone through it…Peter and Lori, Mark and Julie, Dave, etc…I sort of felt uncomfortable…and when I feel uncomfortable, I start talking about myself:)…haha!!! And the subject of divorce was dropped…thank god:)!
In any case, I gave my opinions to Kristin as to why I thought it was hard for married persons that were driven by competition to be married. Or I wondered if one of the persons, who made sport number 1 in their life, was able give themselves fully in a relationship. I wonder if sometimes folks lose sight of their priorities and put other stuff above their marriage…even if it is for only a short period of time.
I’ve seen this scenario a bunch of times: if someone isn’t getting what they need out of the relationship, they will go somewhere else to find what they need…I don’t know…just a random thought…
However, what I do know is that the relationship that Michael and I have works. We work because we are each others Number 1 priority every single day. If Michael were to give up triathlon today and say to me, it’s time that we moved on…I would be fine with that decision. And I can promise you, if Michael retired today, however, encouraged me to continue racing, I wouldn’t race. Part of the reason that I love triathlon is because it enables me to have another bond with my husband.
In fact, one of the hardest things for me while swimming with team Sirius has been missing Michael. In the past 7 years, we have driven together to swim workouts. We love being together, chatting, laughing, etc.
When I hurt, Michael feels it and he tries very hard to make everything better for me (us). Last year, while I was having a hard year, he felt every one of my tough moments. So while I say it was my decision to race IM Canada, it was really OUR decision for me to do it. I’m sort of ok with killing myself and beating on myself, however putting it on ML’s shoulder isn’t something I ever want to do again…
We have a funny little saying: It’s all about the “family unit”. We make our most important decisions together that set us up 5-10 years down the road…hence our “other jobs”.
Triathlon is great and everything, however, competing is only temporary. Being with my husband and working on our “family unit” is for the rest of our lives.
Maybe I feel this way because my parents are divorced. Or maybe it’s because I witnessed and felt unimportant while my parents went for their goals and passions…all the while being dropped off at our grandparents or babysitters house…I don’t know. But always making my husband feel like he is my number one priority every single day is something that I try to do. He is my best friend, my confidant, and my soul mate. And I can promise, nothing and no-one can EVER get in between us….
Now I have a lump in my throat!